Yes, we still have them

Almost 2 years ago I posted about the cats we acquired through an attempt to relieve the guilt we felt over things not working out with Elsie the greyhound. Mmmm, yes.  We should have just let that wave of guilt crash onto the shores of our souls and return to the ocean of feelings the way that nature intended.  Because now we have them and 2 of the 4 people inhabiting this house don’t really like them so much.  We have figured out (sadly, through trial and error) that we just are not pet people.  Be that as it may, our children ARE.  Or they love the one’s we have.  Whatever it is, we are stuck with these two furry (VERY FURRY!) creatures until the end of their life.

They (Princess and Charlie) do not make it easy for us to love them.  Everyone says they’re wonderful, but I think that’s because they’re kind of like Eddie Haskell from “Leave it to Beaver”.  They’re great around other people.  They prance around going, “Oooo look at me!  How nice and cute am I?  Aren’t they evil to talk about me like that?  Wait…what’s that smell?  Oh right.  I wrecked the litter box and it smells like the coffins of a thousand zombies in the house now.  Where were we?  Oh yeah…look at how cute I am!”

A few months ago Charlie ripped open his belly and required surgery to clean it out and cut off the dead flesh.  Nice no?  We don’t know how this happened but we assume it is the direct result of having an extra few pounds of skin from his overweight days catching on something (a nail?  a fencepost?) and his decision to keep walking.  He was in a cone for a month.

This weekend we noticed drips of blood around the food bowl and upon further investigation found that Princess had ripped herself 3 new (thinking of a nice word…thinking…thinking…not happening) poop holes.  After some research we found that it is probably a ruptured anal sack.  I’d post a picture of what that is, but since I read most of the blogs I follow while eating breakfast, I will spare you the image.  You’re welcome.  Advice from vets online (I admit said “vet” could be the kid next door) said to put some Neosporin on it and put a cone on the cat.  Having thrown out the cone from Charlie’s incident, we went to Petco and found a variety of cones.  FOR UPWARDS OF $30!!  You have got to be kidding me.  But she needed a cone, so what does one do when faced with this predicament.  You’re probably thinking “Go to the vet”, but no!  I made one.  Out of some leftover oilcloth and some duct tape.  And it was free.  We are in “monitor and see” mode around here.  Just be glad you aren’t the one doing the monitoring.  It is really unpleasant.

The cone of shame

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1 Comment

Filed under Satan's Minions, Uncategorized

One response to “Yes, we still have them

  1. OMG!!! this made my day – homemade cone!!!! (apart from the gross new poop hole thing).

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