I’ve not been putting a “first” post in here because I wasn’t quite sure how to begin. I didn’t know if I should put a background of me or a wrap up of what this blog will be, but that’s just not me, so I’m just jumping in. If you don’t know me, you’ll have to figure me out as you go…like everyone else.
After I put the kids to bed last night, my daughter, after hacking for a few minutes, called for me. She’s had a nasty cough for a couple of days, and as usual it gets worse at night. I go into her room and she’s sitting on her bed crying. I asked her what was wrong and she looks at me and says, “Mommy, I prayed a thousand of times that my cough would go away and it’s not working.” Ugh. See this is the part of parenting that sucks. How do you explain to your 5 year old the “Problem of Pain”? I told her that sometimes when we get sick the sick just has to go away by itself (because we live in fallen world…blah blah blah). In her mind though, I know she’s thinking, “Everyone tells me He loves me and if that’s true then why would He want me to be in pain. I’ll just ask Him to fix it, but it’s not working, so what does that mean?”. I just don’t know the answers for her sometimes and it sometimes is just crushing that I can’t MAKE God deliver so she can see that He does care (even if I question that myself). She’s 5. She believes that fairies live in our garden and take her teeth and that Santa leaves her stocking full of gifts. And every time she believes it will happen, it does, because we control the situation. But even though I sometimes want to, o.k. honestly all the time, I can’t control God.
After, she asked me to pray for her again and the thing is she still believes, like I want to, that He will make everything all right.